Black Heart

black lady secrets

She had a black heart,

Black as coal.

Cold as a moonless winter.

Wrapped it around her victims,

Strangled them left them for dead.

But they rose up

Sent her an evil lover

To wrap his dark mind around hers,

Rip out what was left of her black heart.

and he left her as a voiceless puddle,

Slowly oozing into the sewer. 

Such are the rewards of such a heart.

Guard yourself well 

Before you join her.

 

 

Cheating on a narcissist it isn’t just about sex.

cheating text messages

Cheating really has nothing to do with sex it is just a follow through. When a person cheats on you in any way with anyone it is a denial of your relationship. People don’t cheat on people they care about. They just don’t. They are so completely involved with their partner they have no time to play with others. A lot of time cheating starts with just a little flirty hello or Joking around. They can even be close friends of the partner. Then it escalates. Just a little flirt, then a text, lunch when they are at work, drinks when they are with other friends. Then texting little thinking of you messages which leads to sexting then sending compromising photos. Those by the way can be kept forever if the target wishes. The cheater has no control over them any more. Further and further until sometimes a love affair can result even if it is only on the side of the cheater and not on their target.

When you cheat on a narcissist though they cannot ever conceive of the idea that they aren’t enough. That you would dare to find someone else is beyond their comprehension. So if you do find someone that you aren’t a mirror of sometimes you get involved because they really care or you project that on them. Narcissist can be dangerous to cheat on as well as sociopaths as they will never admit that they are not the object of your adoration. They will stop at nothing to get what they want which is you. They may not even want you any more but you have become their property.

Narcissist survivial self denial

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and it isn’t working you will need to make a clean break before starting any relationship with a normal person. If you don’t you will put that other person at risk of attack physically or psychologically. After all you would never leave them of your own free will you are theirs all you ever needed is them. It must be the other person that is drawing you away from them. Leaving a narcissist can result in abuse or the claim of abuse can be used in the case of a male target as a weapon. Be ready for those attacks.

Jody Arias is a case in point. How dare he leave she was his, gave her all to him. She claimed her due which was to shoot and stab him into oblivion. Most narcissists are not quite that sociopathic but they think nothing of ruining someone elses reputation even at a whiff of a supposed affair. Don’t put someone else at risk. Also keep all evidence of abuse or to refute any lies they will tell because they will. They have to.

So think about that text you are sending. Is it worth it? Do you really want those kind of pictures to get back to your partner? The pictures you sent? Remember once those are in the ether of the internet or on a phone they are out of your control. Also if you have the type of partner that cheats on you it isn’t worth trying to hold on. You have all ready lost them. A narcissist cheats on you because he can and it is all about them so your feelings really don’t matter.

cheating not about you

Life is too short to be in an unhealthy relationship. If your instincts tell you that your partner is cheating you should listen to them. You deserve better.

Exhibitionist

Exhibitionist

I wonder what it is about social media that brings out the exhibitionist in some people. It can really become cringe worthy after awhile. So here is my rant about how much is too much to post.

Profile pictures seem to be just everything. I saw one with two men’s bare rear ends on a woman’s profile. Another had a BDSM picture of a woman. Now these profile pictures can be seen by anyone on the internet. They don’t last very long as they are sometimes so offensive they get reported and taken down like these two were. No one cares about your freaky sex life except for your significant other and maybe a couple hundred of your social media friends. Please share it with them not the rest of us. I have seen naked men’s butts they are hairy and do not make good profile pictures.

There seems to be a lack of a filter of common sense with some of the stuff that is posted. Personal stuff about relations, affairs, sexual proclivities. All on a public profile. People there is a little button you can click to make these things to your friends only. One assumes your friends are into the same sort of fun. That is fine I like a bit of spice as well as another person I just would choose not to share it with the world. If you are being cheated on dump them or keep them it is up to you but don’t discuss it with the rest of us. Honestly it is your PERSONAL problem. Think they cheated with someone else. Deal with them don’t drag out your ridiculous drama all over for others to see. Besides nobody can take someone else unless they want to go WAKE UP!

Some also put every picture they can post publicly of their children. Pedophiles are rampant on the internet. Why you would put those pictures for every stranger on social media is totally beyond me. Again try that little button. Share your wonderful kids, pets etc. with your friends people that you supposedly have some idea who they are. Also bear in mind that your pictures can be copied and used in places you probably don’t want them to be. You don’t want to see that wonderful picture of your children on some pedophile site.

Another older lady put where her city was and posted a huge diamond ring to brag to the world about her station in life. No doubt her name and address is in the local phone book. I only hope she has an alarm system in her house. She is going to need it. People put all kinds of personal information on their profiles including where they work and live. Social media is a stalkers paradise. Don’t feed them the information to stalk you unless you really need friends that badly.

Recently the US military informed their members that ISIS is stalking social media to find military members to attack. Don’t put your unit and pictures in uniform on your page. We know you are proud to be US military. We are proud of you too but want you to remain safe so use a filter. Make your profile as private as possible.

The rest of us also don’t want to know every detail about your personal life. Share your medical problems with your friends and family or don’t that is even better. People tire of that after awhile as they do all the poor me posts you put on your social media. The bottom line is use some common sense. There are almost a billion people on Facebook alone. Do you really want everyone of them to know your business???

tmi social media

Stay safe everyone. Think about what you post.

Sociopathic Lying Pseudologia Fantastica and Mythomania

Liars shaw

In psychiatry, pathological lying (also called compulsive lying, pseudologia fantastica and mythomania) is a behavior of habitual or compulsive lying.It was first described in the medical literature in 1891 by Anton Delbrueck. Pathological lying has been defined as “falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, may be extensive and very complicated, and may manifest over a period of years or even a lifetime”. The individual may be aware they are lying, or may believe they are telling the truth, being unaware that they are relating fantasies.

Little has been written about pathological lying but studies show that it has a prevalence of almost 1 in 1,000. It usually starts with juveniles at the age of 16 years. 30% have has a chaotic home environment where a parent or family member had a mental disturbance.

The stories told are usually dazzling or fantastical, but never breach the limits of plausibility, which is key to the pathological liar’s tack. The tales are not a manifestation of delusion or some broader type of psychosis; upon confrontation, the teller can admit them to be untrue, even if unwillingly.
The fabricative tendency is chronic; it is not provoked by the immediate situation or social pressure so much as it is an innate trait of the personality. There is some element of dyscontrol present.
A definitely internal, not an external, motive for the behavior can be discerned clinically: e.g., long-lasting extortion or habitual spousal battery might cause a person to lie repeatedly, without the lying being a pathological symptom.
The stories told tend toward presenting the liar favorably. The liar decorates their own person by telling stories that present them as the hero or the victim. For example, the person might be presented as being fantastically brave, as knowing or being related to many famous people, or as having great power, position, or wealth.It can also portray them as a victim of diabolical plots.

Pathological lying may also present as false memory syndrome, where the sufferer genuinely believes that fictitious (imagined) events have taken place. Sometimes when the lie gets a life of it’s own the sufferer begins to believe the delusion them selves.

Because pathological lying has not been recognized as a disorder it can be difficult to diagnose. There are many other disorders that can account for it such as Psychopathy, antisocial, borderline, narcissistic and histrionic disorders.

When a lie detector is used it can show that the pseudologia fantastica patients exhibit arousal, stress and guilt from the deception. Psychopaths have none of these reactions.

PF sufferers often lie because they think their lives are boring and they need to make themselves more interesting. Pathological lying is also Factor 1 in the Hare Psychopathy checklist.

People need to be aware of these personalities as they can wreck their own and others lives with their stories. Reputations and relations suffer greatly because of them. So in conclusion if the lie seems fantastic it probably is. Always question the reasons behind the story. Sometimes things just aren’t what they seem and Narcissists and Sociopaths are very good at all of this. It is used quite often in social media to boost the pathological liars status among their friends. Also in real life these lies can be used to denigrate others and show the pathological liar in a more favorable light.

Courage in admiration of a friend

courage brave lion

Just read a blog post from Allylakeside. https://ally1lakeside.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/my-story-mine-to-tell/

She is my friend but I had no idea the hell she had been through before I knew her. She survived and is a fighter today. Many times she has gotten attacked for standing up for others yet doesn’t let that slow her down one iota. Along with her difficult past she has physical issues that she fights every day. She does this with a deliciously wicked sense of humor.

Many women that are in similar situations dry up and blow away. Not my friend. She stands up and roars like a lion. From a shy abused girl to a young woman denigrated and made to feel less than a person she rose like a phoenix. I am in awe.

I hope that this post is shared far and wide as it will show those that are in similar circumstances there is hope and to get out from under these abusive situations.

We never know what is going on behind closed doors. Those people that seem so together so calm and kind can be monsters in private. Be aware of others. If you see a young woman that looks beaten down and afraid please speak out. You might save a life.

Psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths do not change. EVER. They need to denigrate others to feel alive and in control. They don’t stop with just being mildly abusive. When they see that they can control and manipulate people they push and push. Further and further down until there is little left of the original person.

They are geniuses at seeking out damaged, needy souls too. They isolate them until they have complete control. This is how they live.

There are several of my friends that have escaped similar circumstances. One was almost murdered by her husband before she escaped. This is a terrible problem in our society and as long as we have people that consider other people less than human it will continue.

Lest you think that it is only women that are abused in this manner many men are also victims. They are afraid to speak out because in our society they are the object of fun that they cannot stand up to a woman. A deranged, jealous partner is the same male or female and must be feared.

Psychopaths and narcissistic sociopaths live among us. The more I am on Word Press the more I see of this. Facebook is riddled with those that take advantage of others whether using them to attack others or scam money out of them. Be aware of the signs and put distance between yourself and them.  If you are in a relationship with another person and they try to isolate you, denigrate you GET OUT. People who love and respect others do not isolate, denigrate or manipulate them. Stay safe my friends.

courage and dignity

Narcissist case in point

narcissist mirror

via narcissist – Bing Images.

Just for the record my posts are not about anyone in particular. One of my friends saw a rant by a lunatic that follows us all over and evidently is now following us on WordPress after chasing us all over Facebook. Honey not everything is about you. I am sorry you have such a need for attention. Now if you don’t click on my blog then it won’t bother you. So just go admire yourself and your brilliance somewhere else. If you want to continuously quote mine well go ahead. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery after all. If not how about you do a blog about yourself. You have studied you and how fabulous and brilliant you are.

Again my posts are all in general. If you see yourself in them well that really nails you as a narcissist doesn’t it???

Mad you say? But aren’t we all???

Johnny Depp screwy

We all have our own little quirks but can usually work within society without a problem. There are some though that have extreme personality disorders. Seems that Narcissism has been the theme of late so I decided to look into the differences between Narcissists, Sociopaths and Borderline Personality Disorder and discovered some interesting things.

Narcissists and Sociopaths both are people with extreme personalities.

Narcissist
The word comes from the myth of Narcissus a Greek youth who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water and turned into a flower.

self involved, vain and selfish
problems in sustaining relationships
lack of empathy
hypersensitivity to perceived insults even where they don’t exist
detests non admires
bragging and exaggeration ones own achievements
claiming expertise in many things
denial of gratitude
lack of respect
agressive

A certain amount of narcissism can be a good thing but when it is excessive it becomes a mental disorder classified as NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.

Sociopath

 

A narcissist is not always a sociopath but a sociopath is always a narcissist.
A sociopath is one suffering from an antisocial personality disorder
A narcissist is not always a social threat but a sociopath is most of the time.
Sociopaths are usually charming people the most interesting thing about a Narcissist and a Sociopath to my mind is that they cannot feel the same way that a “normal” person will. There is not empathy or sympathy they simply cannot feel either. Since they cannot feel they usually have little or no guilt about their actions. They also have a high threshold for excitement and will do more and more extreme things so that they can feel anything.

Borderline Personality Disorder

 

This is the most serious of the disorders and can be confused with Narcissism and Sociopathy

Desperate attempts to prevent abandonment
Unstable relationships with others seeing them as flawless and then as worthless
Highly unstable self image
Self destructive behavior such as reckless driving or drug and alcohol abuse
Suicidal thoughts or behaviors or threats
Emotional states that fluctuate from a few hours to a few days
Feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate intense anger or trouble controlling anger
Episodes of paranoia or dissaciation
Impulsivity

I hope this clears up the differences between these disorders. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone that has these symptoms then get help. If the person won’t get help then you probably should stay away as these disorders tend to get worse in time and with the use of self medication.