Black Heart

black lady secrets

She had a black heart,

Black as coal.

Cold as a moonless winter.

Wrapped it around her victims,

Strangled them left them for dead.

But they rose up

Sent her an evil lover

To wrap his dark mind around hers,

Rip out what was left of her black heart.

and he left her as a voiceless puddle,

Slowly oozing into the sewer. 

Such are the rewards of such a heart.

Guard yourself well 

Before you join her.



Nothing but a ghost

No heart has she,

Her soul is blank.

Empty as the sea,

dark and rank.

She lives in misery,

In swamps of hate.

There is no mystery,

of her soulless state.

She sucks the life

leaves nothing but venom.

Twists the knife

Into her victim.

Yet the joke you see is on her

Who she pains the most,

Emptiness to endure,

When you are nothing but a ghost.


Shattered mind

Her break with reality is complete

Her mind has met defeat.

She skitters to and fro

Nowhere to go

But down and down

Into the abyss

Where all is amiss.

Shattered mind, empty soul

Destroys her role

As lover so divine

Vixen so sublime.

You see she looked too close

Saw the future as it arose

Around her

Inside her

To bind her

To her shattered mind.

Welcome little spy

get smart phone

You think I don’t see you?

You think I am naive.

Slinking around on your belly

while your curiosity you relieve

Say hello to your little friends

I know they are here too.

I know you see

By the things that you do.

You are silly and strange

Bought really cheap

Information you arrange

To send them you creep.

The stalker can’t do it

The law won’t allow

So you do it yourself

You idiot cow.



Sociopathic Lying Pseudologia Fantastica and Mythomania

Liars shaw

In psychiatry, pathological lying (also called compulsive lying, pseudologia fantastica and mythomania) is a behavior of habitual or compulsive lying.It was first described in the medical literature in 1891 by Anton Delbrueck. Pathological lying has been defined as “falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, may be extensive and very complicated, and may manifest over a period of years or even a lifetime”. The individual may be aware they are lying, or may believe they are telling the truth, being unaware that they are relating fantasies.

Little has been written about pathological lying but studies show that it has a prevalence of almost 1 in 1,000. It usually starts with juveniles at the age of 16 years. 30% have has a chaotic home environment where a parent or family member had a mental disturbance.

The stories told are usually dazzling or fantastical, but never breach the limits of plausibility, which is key to the pathological liar’s tack. The tales are not a manifestation of delusion or some broader type of psychosis; upon confrontation, the teller can admit them to be untrue, even if unwillingly.
The fabricative tendency is chronic; it is not provoked by the immediate situation or social pressure so much as it is an innate trait of the personality. There is some element of dyscontrol present.
A definitely internal, not an external, motive for the behavior can be discerned clinically: e.g., long-lasting extortion or habitual spousal battery might cause a person to lie repeatedly, without the lying being a pathological symptom.
The stories told tend toward presenting the liar favorably. The liar decorates their own person by telling stories that present them as the hero or the victim. For example, the person might be presented as being fantastically brave, as knowing or being related to many famous people, or as having great power, position, or wealth.It can also portray them as a victim of diabolical plots.

Pathological lying may also present as false memory syndrome, where the sufferer genuinely believes that fictitious (imagined) events have taken place. Sometimes when the lie gets a life of it’s own the sufferer begins to believe the delusion them selves.

Because pathological lying has not been recognized as a disorder it can be difficult to diagnose. There are many other disorders that can account for it such as Psychopathy, antisocial, borderline, narcissistic and histrionic disorders.

When a lie detector is used it can show that the pseudologia fantastica patients exhibit arousal, stress and guilt from the deception. Psychopaths have none of these reactions.

PF sufferers often lie because they think their lives are boring and they need to make themselves more interesting. Pathological lying is also Factor 1 in the Hare Psychopathy checklist.

People need to be aware of these personalities as they can wreck their own and others lives with their stories. Reputations and relations suffer greatly because of them. So in conclusion if the lie seems fantastic it probably is. Always question the reasons behind the story. Sometimes things just aren’t what they seem and Narcissists and Sociopaths are very good at all of this. It is used quite often in social media to boost the pathological liars status among their friends. Also in real life these lies can be used to denigrate others and show the pathological liar in a more favorable light.

Courage in admiration of a friend

courage brave lion

Just read a blog post from Allylakeside.

She is my friend but I had no idea the hell she had been through before I knew her. She survived and is a fighter today. Many times she has gotten attacked for standing up for others yet doesn’t let that slow her down one iota. Along with her difficult past she has physical issues that she fights every day. She does this with a deliciously wicked sense of humor.

Many women that are in similar situations dry up and blow away. Not my friend. She stands up and roars like a lion. From a shy abused girl to a young woman denigrated and made to feel less than a person she rose like a phoenix. I am in awe.

I hope that this post is shared far and wide as it will show those that are in similar circumstances there is hope and to get out from under these abusive situations.

We never know what is going on behind closed doors. Those people that seem so together so calm and kind can be monsters in private. Be aware of others. If you see a young woman that looks beaten down and afraid please speak out. You might save a life.

Psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths do not change. EVER. They need to denigrate others to feel alive and in control. They don’t stop with just being mildly abusive. When they see that they can control and manipulate people they push and push. Further and further down until there is little left of the original person.

They are geniuses at seeking out damaged, needy souls too. They isolate them until they have complete control. This is how they live.

There are several of my friends that have escaped similar circumstances. One was almost murdered by her husband before she escaped. This is a terrible problem in our society and as long as we have people that consider other people less than human it will continue.

Lest you think that it is only women that are abused in this manner many men are also victims. They are afraid to speak out because in our society they are the object of fun that they cannot stand up to a woman. A deranged, jealous partner is the same male or female and must be feared.

Psychopaths and narcissistic sociopaths live among us. The more I am on Word Press the more I see of this. Facebook is riddled with those that take advantage of others whether using them to attack others or scam money out of them. Be aware of the signs and put distance between yourself and them.  If you are in a relationship with another person and they try to isolate you, denigrate you GET OUT. People who love and respect others do not isolate, denigrate or manipulate them. Stay safe my friends.

courage and dignity

Mental Illness and Prejudice

mental Illness stigma

via MAC address | My Privacy Tools Blog.

Too many people hide mental illnesses and suffer needlessly. Unlike the past when my mother suffered from Bipolar Illness it is now talked about openly. I know the prejudice of having a mentally ill family member. I have skipped many parts of applications for employment or outright lied when there were questions about mental illness in the family. Went to my first year of college during the day and on my way home visited my mother in the mental ward of a hospital. Starting when I was about eleven years old until I left home at 19 I lived with it constantly.

The fights, strange behavior, not being able to have friends to my house ever in fear of what would be there. Trying to help raise my younger brother and sister to have a more normal life than I did and failing miserably. Watching a ten year old boy cry when the police car came to take her to the hospital once again and trying to get him to go to the library or anywhere he wouldn’t have to see it. Not knowing that as an adult he would resent it deeply. I tried my best in my young mind but left him scars he still has in his later years. I am so sorry. I didn’t know how much you knew I should have included you and explained. I really didn’t know any better.

Recently a lovely woman who was not treated for her illness died of cancer. She never told her family and was very secretive about her life. By the time they knew it was too late. She was the strong one, the older sister they looked up to. They didn’t dare interfere even though they were all past forty. They knew she needed treatment for her mental problems but she was a functioning adult and there is very little you can do to make people seek therapy. Such a sad tragic loss. Do we blame the family?

It is very easy on the outside to look at the family of a person with mental illness and say why don’t you do something? This is the same with alcoholism. You cannot force a person into therapy, they have to want it and in the throes of such a condition they cannot see they need it.

Bipolar people even with therapy and medication still suffer. They take the meds, they feel better. When they feel better they stop taking the meds thinking they can handle it. A lot of these medications have side effects. They can dull life. The person stops the meds and starts on the downward spiral of depression or the giddy heights of Mania. It is a roller coaster that the family is strapped into and has no control over.

The conundrum of mental illness is how much can we do? An adult has rights and among those rights is to suffer from mental illness. We cannot force a person with a cardiac condition into treatment why should we be able to force someone that has a disease that is not that easy to diagnose.

Some of these people are sociopaths and are very skilled at being normal. You only have to look at the past to see really mentally ill people like Jeffrey Daumer that so many people perceived as intelligent and charming yet did the most horrific things. This is an extreme case.

Most mentally ill people are good people haunted by a terrible illness. A lot are afraid of seeking treatment as it affects their ability to get and maintain a job. Mentally ill people have difficulty with personal relations as well and are left alone so suffer in silence.

I hope to see a day when mentally ill people are treated like people with physical illness. When they are treated with kindness and respect. A world where families are not destroyed. Mine scattered to the wind all of us trying to escape in our own way.

I am grateful that this illness was not passed to me. I do however retain the scars of growing up in that reality.

Thanks for listening and the next time someone judges a mentally ill person or their family I hope you speak up for them. They all need support so lacking in today’s society. We have come a very long way but not long enough.