Nothing but a ghost

No heart has she,

Her soul is blank.

Empty as the sea,

dark and rank.

She lives in misery,

In swamps of hate.

There is no mystery,

of her soulless state.

She sucks the life

leaves nothing but venom.

Twists the knife

Into her victim.

Yet the joke you see is on her

Who she pains the most,

Emptiness to endure,

When you are nothing but a ghost.

 

Shattered mind

Her break with reality is complete

Her mind has met defeat.

She skitters to and fro

Nowhere to go

But down and down

Into the abyss

Where all is amiss.

Shattered mind, empty soul

Destroys her role

As lover so divine

Vixen so sublime.

You see she looked too close

Saw the future as it arose

Around her

Inside her

To bind her

To her shattered mind.

Evil behind a pretty face

Evil face

Such a pretty young face,
to hide such a dark heart.
To show no trace
Of her black art.

She weaves the pain
The heartless schemes.
Destroys the name,
And all her dreams.

Who knew such a vicious snake
Could crawl and creep
just for evil’s sake
Disturb the sleep.

Of other souls and beings
Just for a comedy,
To create the beginnings
Of tragedy.

All is lost now.
Nothing is left.
She can but bow,
and be bereft.

Sociopathic Lying Pseudologia Fantastica and Mythomania

Liars shaw

In psychiatry, pathological lying (also called compulsive lying, pseudologia fantastica and mythomania) is a behavior of habitual or compulsive lying.It was first described in the medical literature in 1891 by Anton Delbrueck. Pathological lying has been defined as “falsification entirely disproportionate to any discernible end in view, may be extensive and very complicated, and may manifest over a period of years or even a lifetime”. The individual may be aware they are lying, or may believe they are telling the truth, being unaware that they are relating fantasies.

Little has been written about pathological lying but studies show that it has a prevalence of almost 1 in 1,000. It usually starts with juveniles at the age of 16 years. 30% have has a chaotic home environment where a parent or family member had a mental disturbance.

The stories told are usually dazzling or fantastical, but never breach the limits of plausibility, which is key to the pathological liar’s tack. The tales are not a manifestation of delusion or some broader type of psychosis; upon confrontation, the teller can admit them to be untrue, even if unwillingly.
The fabricative tendency is chronic; it is not provoked by the immediate situation or social pressure so much as it is an innate trait of the personality. There is some element of dyscontrol present.
A definitely internal, not an external, motive for the behavior can be discerned clinically: e.g., long-lasting extortion or habitual spousal battery might cause a person to lie repeatedly, without the lying being a pathological symptom.
The stories told tend toward presenting the liar favorably. The liar decorates their own person by telling stories that present them as the hero or the victim. For example, the person might be presented as being fantastically brave, as knowing or being related to many famous people, or as having great power, position, or wealth.It can also portray them as a victim of diabolical plots.

Pathological lying may also present as false memory syndrome, where the sufferer genuinely believes that fictitious (imagined) events have taken place. Sometimes when the lie gets a life of it’s own the sufferer begins to believe the delusion them selves.

Because pathological lying has not been recognized as a disorder it can be difficult to diagnose. There are many other disorders that can account for it such as Psychopathy, antisocial, borderline, narcissistic and histrionic disorders.

When a lie detector is used it can show that the pseudologia fantastica patients exhibit arousal, stress and guilt from the deception. Psychopaths have none of these reactions.

PF sufferers often lie because they think their lives are boring and they need to make themselves more interesting. Pathological lying is also Factor 1 in the Hare Psychopathy checklist.

People need to be aware of these personalities as they can wreck their own and others lives with their stories. Reputations and relations suffer greatly because of them. So in conclusion if the lie seems fantastic it probably is. Always question the reasons behind the story. Sometimes things just aren’t what they seem and Narcissists and Sociopaths are very good at all of this. It is used quite often in social media to boost the pathological liars status among their friends. Also in real life these lies can be used to denigrate others and show the pathological liar in a more favorable light.

Mad you say? But aren’t we all???

Johnny Depp screwy

We all have our own little quirks but can usually work within society without a problem. There are some though that have extreme personality disorders. Seems that Narcissism has been the theme of late so I decided to look into the differences between Narcissists, Sociopaths and Borderline Personality Disorder and discovered some interesting things.

Narcissists and Sociopaths both are people with extreme personalities.

Narcissist
The word comes from the myth of Narcissus a Greek youth who fell in love with his own reflection in a pool of water and turned into a flower.

self involved, vain and selfish
problems in sustaining relationships
lack of empathy
hypersensitivity to perceived insults even where they don’t exist
detests non admires
bragging and exaggeration ones own achievements
claiming expertise in many things
denial of gratitude
lack of respect
agressive

A certain amount of narcissism can be a good thing but when it is excessive it becomes a mental disorder classified as NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER.

Sociopath

 

A narcissist is not always a sociopath but a sociopath is always a narcissist.
A sociopath is one suffering from an antisocial personality disorder
A narcissist is not always a social threat but a sociopath is most of the time.
Sociopaths are usually charming people the most interesting thing about a Narcissist and a Sociopath to my mind is that they cannot feel the same way that a “normal” person will. There is not empathy or sympathy they simply cannot feel either. Since they cannot feel they usually have little or no guilt about their actions. They also have a high threshold for excitement and will do more and more extreme things so that they can feel anything.

Borderline Personality Disorder

 

This is the most serious of the disorders and can be confused with Narcissism and Sociopathy

Desperate attempts to prevent abandonment
Unstable relationships with others seeing them as flawless and then as worthless
Highly unstable self image
Self destructive behavior such as reckless driving or drug and alcohol abuse
Suicidal thoughts or behaviors or threats
Emotional states that fluctuate from a few hours to a few days
Feelings of emptiness
Inappropriate intense anger or trouble controlling anger
Episodes of paranoia or dissaciation
Impulsivity

I hope this clears up the differences between these disorders. If you find yourself in a relationship with someone that has these symptoms then get help. If the person won’t get help then you probably should stay away as these disorders tend to get worse in time and with the use of self medication.

Seven deadly sins Jealousy is it worth it?

Jealousy hammered

To just expand a bit on my last post Sexting is it Cheating.

Do you think Jealousy is a useful or useless emotion?

It causes some really destructive behavior, it can destroy friendships and relationships.

When a person isn’t happy in their relationship or their situation in life people look to find a reason. Your partner cheats? Well it must be an outside influence can’t be your partner after all you own that person how dare someone else try to steal them. Never mind that you don’t own anyone they have to be true to you of their own volition. If not the other person is just a smoke screen to what truly is going on in your relationship.

When a person isn’t happy with their station in life. You have a small apartment they have a big house. Never mind what goes on behind those walls. The other person might only have that in their lives. It could be they work harder, longer and smarter than you do. You want that big house, fancy car, clothes, jewelry, travel opportunities? Go out and get it. Find something that allows you to be in that place don’t waste your time envying them for what they have it has nothing to do with what you have.

When a person has more friends than you do. Why? Maybe they go out of their way and do things for others you don’t. They may make time to help other people out or listen to their troubles. A person just doesn’t attract friends without any reason. We want to be with others. Those that reflect our values, our interests. Try a hobby or a class or just be kinder to others. If you treat the person that has more friends with kindness maybe you will have their friends as well. It isn’t a competition.

When people have better health. Do they walk more than you do? Visit doctors more often? Refrain from over drinking or eating? Ask yourself what you can do to improve your own health and state of well being.

We all get jealous. It is part of human nature it spurs us on to do better and be better than we are. It is when Jealousy goes beyond reason or is turned inward that it becomes destructive. Use it to push forward don’t let it push you backwards.

You cannot control what another person does you can only make yourself better. If your partner cheats then look to them not the other person. Find out the reason and fix it or kick them to the curb. The amount of money or things does not make a person, the soul and heart does. If you fixate on material things that is what you will achieve but at what cost? Focus on your own health and well being. Live your life as authentically as you can to achieve happiness.

That other person that you envy may envy you. They may not be what you perceive they are and it is really irrelevant to your own life.

Hope this helps keep that green eyed monster at bay. Thanks for reading and enjoy your day!!

We are not born to hate

We are not born to hate or to denigrate others it is something that is learned. Why? What makes some so insecure that they must bring others down so they can feel bigger and better.  It can be for any reason. Color, size, lack of size, country of origin just about anything. What a shame we rob ourselves of the experience of the interchange of ideas and the beauty of friendship for ridiculous reasons.  Next time you comment negatively about someone look into your heart. Why? What is missing from you that you need to make others smaller?

rose baby

Constructive and Destructive Anger

anger as emotion

Anger as an emotion can be both constructive and destructive. When it is constructive it can spur us into motion make us prove the other person wrong, defend the victim or rise up to attack injustice.

When it is destructive it can be a very damaging force to both the the person and the target of the anger. It can cause severe internal harm to someone. The stress from anger can cause heart damage and other serious complications. It can also lead to acts that cannot be reversed such as violence to self or the other person.

So then what do you do with the anger? Try to refocus use it constructively don’t let it hurt you. If you are the target then either completely remove yourself from the other person,some cannot be reasoned with. If possible try to negotiate and find a common ground. It is difficult but can be done. Don’t let anger control you. You control it.