Even having been burgled I found this hysterical. Great job!
Life in the Boomer Lane would be lying to you if she were to tell you that personal security has not been on her mind. This is because a gun store is scheduled to open in LBL’s hitherto touchie feelie, peace-loving neighborhood and LBL feels completely mystified and out of the loop, when considering the thought of citizens lined up to purchase firearms for self-protection.
LBL assumes that many people buy guns because it gives them a sense of security against marauders, in much the same way as having an alarm system or a large, surly dog on one’s premises. Unlike alarm systems, large surly dogs and guns can both get out of hand, causing non-marauders a lot of harm. And, unlike alarm systems and large surly dogs, guns are often stored in shoe boxes in the back of high shelves, providing marauders time to carry out most of…
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