Fly free from emotional abuse

air balloon with heart

beware night mare

Emotional abuse is never ok. It can leave scars much deeper than any fist hitting flesh. The wounds are carried in the mind, heart and soul. People who are sensitive and caring are usually the victims. They are easy to manipulate because they really care about others. It often starts with the perpetrator putting the victim on a pedestal. When someone goes too fast claiming “love at first site” or something else it should give someone pause. It can happen but healthy relationships are built over time. Another red flag is “I love you so much I want you to myself.” If you plan things with other than the perpetrator they will make you feel guilty. Tell you that obviously you dont’ care about them. They should be enough. Slowly they will isolate you from people that care about you. You end up under their control completely. Sometimes they will even physically move you away from family and friends to increase the control. They may tell you to quit your job. They care about you and want to take care of you. This way you can’t get support from colleagues either.
picking brains

Now isolated you can be invalidated. Your thoughts and feelings are denigrated. You may be told you are lazy, mentally unbalanced. Over and over you are told that you are useless, not good enough. Just not up to their level. They are doing you a favor after all they pay the bills now. Since you have left a job they have financial control. If you have had children even more control.

Every emotion, every waking moment you are theirs and will do as you are told. After all you are useless, nobody wants you, too stupid to work, spend too much of their hand earned money. Do not question them they are in control.

Psychologically you are a prisoner.

If someone truly cares about you they respect you. They take joy in your accomplishments and those things that bring you joy. They are happy to take you out in public and are proud of how you look. They don’t belittle you and tell you that you are useless.

If someone does that get out. Get away they are soul suckers. You will become a shadow of who you are. Nobody deserves that. It isn’t easy to leave but it is easier than spending your life being controlled by someone that doesn’t care about you.

regret

20 comments

  1. M&M, Inc. · April 10, 2015

    Reblogged this on Phoenix Rising From the Ashes and commented:
    I have lived this, for a very long time. It took great strength and the support of loving family and friends to be able to leave. Watch for the warning signs, the emotional and verbal abuse. You are a good person. You are smart and strong and have every right to live your life YOUR WAY! Grab YOUR life before its to late, you only have one chance to live it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gale A. Molinari · April 10, 2015

      Very wise words and good for you having that courage.

      Liked by 2 people

      • marilynmunrow · April 10, 2015

        You are both very strong individuals and i am proud to know you

        Like

  2. warturoadam77p · April 10, 2015

    My father emotionally abused my mother over her weight and it was our family’s little secret. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy and further drug her down. Tell someone they’re fat (or stupid) long enough, they’ll start to take ownership–because that’s what’s expected.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gale A. Molinari · April 10, 2015

      It is a way to control people. Men are victims too. No one deserves to be disrespected or talked down to. If a person cares they would never do that. Only cowards use this weapon.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. marilynmunrow · April 10, 2015

    Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
    Nobody deserves to be abused either physically or mentally. It is hard to get away from s person who does this to another human being

    Like

  4. Gale A. Molinari · April 10, 2015

    Thank you for the reblog. There is no excuse and no reason for a person to put up with it.

    Like

  5. lynettedavis · April 15, 2015

    Reblogged this on Memoir Notes.

    Like

  6. "Bethie" · April 15, 2015

    I saw myself in the comments you made here.

    Like

  7. wwannwrites · April 15, 2015

    Reblogged this on wwannwrites and commented:
    I understand that pain all too well, I was not only emotionally abused by my ex-husband, but I was emotionally abused by his family too. After I came back home to live with my parents, I found comfort and healing in music. Now I am writing a book called Embracing the Healing Power of Music: Seven Steps for Finding Your Way Out of the Darkness and Into the Light with God’s Gift of Song. In this book, I share my story, and I share some information about music and it’s healing power. I pray that I can publish it and touch the heart of someone who is suffering at the hands of abusers like I did. Love and prayers to you and anyone else who has dealt with the pain of emotional abuse.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. hinsmanj · April 15, 2015

    Reblogged this on Novels by Jennifer Hinsman.

    Like

  9. dontcallmeavictim · April 17, 2015

    Thank you for posting this. It validates what I’ve been feeling now that I’m out!

    Like

  10. frijolic14 · April 29, 2015

    Leaving an

    Like

  11. frijolic14 · May 2, 2015

    sorry for that pitiful comment. I’m not saying it was inappropriate but it’s the lack of words. am just rephrasing and making it more of a readable comment. leaving an abusive relationship has its risks not to mention it’s easier said than done. often people who have been in abusive relationships have been in them so long that one day they have just snapped and killed their abusive partner and often times they have ended up in jail but are often having their cases re-examined as they often claim self defence in the not too distant past I thought that loop hole was closed here in the Australian legal system that people who killed their abuser couldn’t use self defence as a reason for killing said person there was a story in one of our newspapers recently where a guy was jailed for murdering his girlfriend. turns out their relationship was volatile from their first date the woman tried several times to leave the relationship but he always found out somehow the guy eventually shot his girlfriend dead in October 2013 so as is said leaving an abusive relationship has its risks that often the person is tracked down and killed. sometimes the man will often kill his wife or partner nd often kill the kids too as well as themselves time and time again you hear on the news or read in the papers the number of murder suicides that happen in families that you wouldn’t expect them to happen but unfortunately things like that happen. it’s tragic

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gale A. Molinari · May 2, 2015

      People don’t realize the very tragic results that abuse can have. We have had really bad cases here in the US as well. Until we all stand up against it and stop hiding it people will continue to be victims.

      Like

  12. frijolic14 · May 2, 2015

    I did forget to mention that abuse isn’t just in relationships either. school yard bullying is often damaging too. I can attest to that. the stuff I went through during my first 3 years at secondary school was from staff and students alike. if I went to report the bullying I would be shut down and told I was a liar and a truble maker. I hid it from everyone even my own parents for 3 years. this is because my auntie was the principle’s secretary at this particular school and she’d tell my grandparents what a liar I was but my grandparents my parents and a councillor believed me all the way. I also would be told I had to go to school even when I wasn’t well and as a result of this I was in hospital 3 times that year turns out now I look back my first kidney transplant I had at that time never worked at all there was a virus in the kidney that stayed dorment which was removed due to kidney cancer. being on dialysis was restrictive and some days I just couldn’t go to school because of the treatment one suspention I will never forget being made to serve was for aledgedly groping a girl which I maintained black and blue I never groped her and I never went near her breasts I was almost expelled from said school and the deputy principle told me that legally no other school would take me because of my poor behaviour I couldn’t tell the school that I was seeing a councillor outside the school nor could I tell them I was planning to change schools. I also refuse to seek counciling for anything because I fear I’m going to be to blame for the councillor leaving their post as a councillor because of what I tell them leading to them having a nervous breakdown. I was told such a thing by my visiting teacher at that time that the councillor I was seeing left her post as a councillor because of me and I’ve felt guilty about seeking counciling ever since I’ve done a great job at hiding my problems and have every intention of continuing to do so. I’m still inwardly angry even years later but I ignore this as much as I can.

    Like

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