Emotional abuse is never ok. It can leave scars much deeper than any fist hitting flesh. The wounds are carried in the mind, heart and soul. People who are sensitive and caring are usually the victims. They are easy to manipulate because they really care about others. It often starts with the perpetrator putting the victim on a pedestal. When someone goes too fast claiming “love at first site” or something else it should give someone pause. It can happen but healthy relationships are built over time. Another red flag is “I love you so much I want you to myself.” If you plan things with other than the perpetrator they will make you feel guilty. Tell you that obviously you dont’ care about them. They should be enough. Slowly they will isolate you from people that care about you. You end up under their control completely. Sometimes they will even physically move you away from family and friends to increase the control. They may tell you to quit your job. They care about you and want to take care of you. This way you can’t get support from colleagues either.
Now isolated you can be invalidated. Your thoughts and feelings are denigrated. You may be told you are lazy, mentally unbalanced. Over and over you are told that you are useless, not good enough. Just not up to their level. They are doing you a favor after all they pay the bills now. Since you have left a job they have financial control. If you have had children even more control.
Every emotion, every waking moment you are theirs and will do as you are told. After all you are useless, nobody wants you, too stupid to work, spend too much of their hand earned money. Do not question them they are in control.
Psychologically you are a prisoner.
If someone truly cares about you they respect you. They take joy in your accomplishments and those things that bring you joy. They are happy to take you out in public and are proud of how you look. They don’t belittle you and tell you that you are useless.
If someone does that get out. Get away they are soul suckers. You will become a shadow of who you are. Nobody deserves that. It isn’t easy to leave but it is easier than spending your life being controlled by someone that doesn’t care about you.