Cheating on a narcissist it isn’t just about sex.

cheating text messages

Cheating really has nothing to do with sex it is just a follow through. When a person cheats on you in any way with anyone it is a denial of your relationship. People don’t cheat on people they care about. They just don’t. They are so completely involved with their partner they have no time to play with others. A lot of time cheating starts with just a little flirty hello or Joking around. They can even be close friends of the partner. Then it escalates. Just a little flirt, then a text, lunch when they are at work, drinks when they are with other friends. Then texting little thinking of you messages which leads to sexting then sending compromising photos. Those by the way can be kept forever if the target wishes. The cheater has no control over them any more. Further and further until sometimes a love affair can result even if it is only on the side of the cheater and not on their target.

When you cheat on a narcissist though they cannot ever conceive of the idea that they aren’t enough. That you would dare to find someone else is beyond their comprehension. So if you do find someone that you aren’t a mirror of sometimes you get involved because they really care or you project that on them. Narcissist can be dangerous to cheat on as well as sociopaths as they will never admit that they are not the object of your adoration. They will stop at nothing to get what they want which is you. They may not even want you any more but you have become their property.

Narcissist survivial self denial

If you have been in a relationship with a narcissist and it isn’t working you will need to make a clean break before starting any relationship with a normal person. If you don’t you will put that other person at risk of attack physically or psychologically. After all you would never leave them of your own free will you are theirs all you ever needed is them. It must be the other person that is drawing you away from them. Leaving a narcissist can result in abuse or the claim of abuse can be used in the case of a male target as a weapon. Be ready for those attacks.

Jody Arias is a case in point. How dare he leave she was his, gave her all to him. She claimed her due which was to shoot and stab him into oblivion. Most narcissists are not quite that sociopathic but they think nothing of ruining someone elses reputation even at a whiff of a supposed affair. Don’t put someone else at risk. Also keep all evidence of abuse or to refute any lies they will tell because they will. They have to.

So think about that text you are sending. Is it worth it? Do you really want those kind of pictures to get back to your partner? The pictures you sent? Remember once those are in the ether of the internet or on a phone they are out of your control. Also if you have the type of partner that cheats on you it isn’t worth trying to hold on. You have all ready lost them. A narcissist cheats on you because he can and it is all about them so your feelings really don’t matter.

cheating not about you

Life is too short to be in an unhealthy relationship. If your instincts tell you that your partner is cheating you should listen to them. You deserve better.


  1. It is indeed a dangerous game – married to a narcissist or not.. But you are right when someone is so self-absorbed and perfect, nothing must tarnish their image in the eyes of others, and being cheated on does just that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gale A. Molinari · December 27, 2014

      It is when it includes someone else as well. They sometimes have no idea the dark hole they are being dragged into willing or not.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. marilynmunrow · December 27, 2014

    Reblogged this on Marilyn Munrow and commented:
    Oh wow, powerful and so well written. I love this sugar.


  3. Gale A. Molinari · December 27, 2014

    Thank you for the reblog. It just seemed like an important point to make.


  4. M&M, Inc. · December 27, 2014

    Reblogged this on Phoenix Rising From the Ashes and commented:
    Very insightful blog! I have been a victim of such a type of person who even bragged of her partners indiscretions! I dont understand how someone could stay with a partner they full well know sexts behind their back and sends very private pictures as well! These are some of the most dangerous individuals.


  5. Gale A. Molinari · December 27, 2014

    We don’t do anything without a reward they must get something out of it.


  6. Pingback: Johnny’s Resilience and Ability to Stand up for Himself | No More Silence
  7. fletchenkitty · July 11, 2015

    Reblogged this on fletchenkitty.


  8. Prudence · February 8, 2016

    I was in a relationship for 14 years with a verbally abusive man. Actually towards the end, he became physically abusive. I left him with nothing except bruises! I left him April 2015 and moved to another state.

    I met someone and became involved with him. People told me they thought he was arrogant and they felt he never really listened to them. I went out with him anyway and got emotionally attached.

    I live in a very small town, so if you drive around town, you’re likely to run into people you know. He saw me, and acted mad that I was out and about. His face became so ugly, it was scary. I told him I wanted to get something to eat, and he freaked out over it. He thought I was being selfish because I wanted to get a bite to eat. I got upset and drove away. He called me back later to say he didn’t want to see me anymore, that I would leave his place in a mess (I didn’t), and that I was sneaky (I’m not). So I say okay, that is fine with me. He calls me couple days later and acts like nothing ever happened and I asked him about what happened. I told him it seemed like he hated me, He never really talked about it.

    I went Christmas shopping with a friend of mine, and he called me to tell me his paycheck was less than he thought it would be I said I was sorry and felt bad for him. He asked me what I was doing, and I told him I was shopping. He got really upset and said he had to get off the phone. He called me back to tell me he didn’t want to see me anymore!!!! Again I said okay, that is fine with me. I didn’t cry or act upset. He calls me and texts me like nothing had happened a few days later, and I ignored him. Then, he left me voicemails that were angry, he called me vacant (maybe because I didn’t cry and freak out because he didn’t want to see me anymore) and said he was through with me, that he could find someone so much better than me. I didn’t respond to his voicemails. He sent me a text and asked me if I wanted to go out on New Year’s Eve. In my infinite wisdom, I said yes. It was nice, we had fun and it seemed like things were going well. I was really enjoying being around him; he said the angry him was gone, and he was sorry. But it was still there.

    It’s a little frustrating to go over to your boyfriend’s place, and the minute you walk in, he asks you to do the dishes!! He said “they’re OUR dishes”, even though I don’t live there. I will gladly help out in most capacities, I even cleaned his bathroom because it was so dirty.

    Anyway, to make a long story longer, I cheated on him. I didn’t do anything except kiss him, but it is still cheating. My boyfriend looked through my living room window and caught us. I feel bad that I hurt him.


    • Gale A. Molinari · March 6, 2016

      If you cheated there must be something missing in your relationship. Talk it out or get out. Feeling bad doesn’t help. Find out why you are doing it.


    • Georgie · March 24, 2016

      Leave your boyfriend if you can. He is beyond help if he acts the way he is. When my boyfriend began to act like that I tried to leave but I had an unfortunate incident and he lied and manipulated me into thinking that I had to stay with him because my safety would be at more risk if I didn’t.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Malctg - The Foureyed Poet. · July 8, 2016

    Hi Gale. Never cheated at all. Two marriages and divorces found the one partner too much. Not sure if they cheated on me had my suspicions too late to worry. Now getting old been happily alone writing for 30 years. Thank you for wanting to follow my poetry adventures.Very interested in all things paranormal! Writing is a passion that keeps me sane and alive! So nice to meet you. The Foureyed Poet.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Mia · December 4, 2016

    When my narcissist cheats I would cheat because he wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. I would leave my phone at home and usually get a ride over to where I was going. I knew my N knew where I was by my cell phone and car. That was so he didn’t get caught. So far he has never found out in 5 years. I think we are both narcissistic. I totally know he needs me for things and I let him do stuff for me while staying at my house. But a few times he has made it clear I make him do everything which isn’t so. He comes with no money just a food card. That helps but he has no idea of everything I do to afford to live where I live. He doesn’t support me. He tells people he is my slave and it’s not about sex he means work wise. But I feel like he should be contributing if he gonna stay here more than a couple days. When he comes here my world stops. It’s frustrating but I can’t say no. What wrong with me.


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